Parenting

When you are a parent it always has an impact on your marriage.  A parenting lifestyle can drastically change a non-parenting lifestyle. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we believe that the purpose of parenting is to help our children to become like God.  When you parent you should focus on what they do well and be sure to acknowledge that you appreciate them for doing it.  Also as a parent you should focus more on what the child needs and they will be more likely to have good behavior.  As human beings it is in our nature to need any kind of contact from another person.  Even those who don't get positive attention so they try to get attention at all even if it is negative, will never get enough to fill them.  Your body knows what you need and will seek what it needs even if you don't recognize that you are doing it. 

Children should be taught to contribute which will help them to feel like they belong and to offer contact freely.  If children don't feel like they have any personal power they will revert to rebellion, or controlling others, although it will never fill their needs.  To help with this we need to encourage responsibility (which can help with more than just this), and allow them to have choices to help them feel responsible (age and situation appropriate).  Allow them to experience the consequence of their decision.  The consequences that will come naturally should be the ones used most often and the only times you should intervene is when the consequence is too dangerous, are too far off into the future, or if others are effected by their decision.  Starting first with a polite request is the best way to discipline.  If that doesn't work then "I messages" should be used, after that a strong message, followed by a logical consequence (meaning one that relates to what you are punishing them for).  A punishment or reward is something we use to control, where discipline is when we are teaching.  If children want to buy something on their own a way you can do it so that you can still have a little control over it is to be sure to set limits on it before they buy it so that they know the rules ahead of time, as they follow them you can allow them more and more freedom.

Check out Dick Van Patten's videos on parenting teenagers.